“Life is empty, isn’t it”, it was me again sitting down at the rooftop in my school. I am Yuriko, 17 years old, a regular high school student. Not a great student, nor people. Ordinary girl, ordinary life.
“What are you doing over there, Yuriko! Come down or you can accidentally fall!!”, Akino, my best friend, called me from our track field looking above our school building. Nah! I didn’t bother me at all. I just want to be here by myself, realizing how empty life is.
I feel that life is a bitch, you have to go through problems and in the end, death. Same old same old. I failed in lots of relationships, I failed in academy, and I failed my family. Isn’t life a bitch?
“Ah! I’m bored, Let’s get down and eat!”, I went to our dining center and grab some sandwiches then sit by myself. “There’s Yuriko! Let’s sit with her”, some of my friends came. “Let’s start the act, Yuriko!” I said it to myself.
“Hi gals, great! Nice to meet you , what’s up?”
“Yuriko! You’re looking sad today? What’s going on”
“Nothing! Hahaha. “ I set my happy face, that’s what I always do everyday
I look like fun and outgoing, yet people don’t know what’s happening on me. Who knows who I really am?
As soon as I go home, everyday, “Yuriko! Come here!! You’re such the daughter of evil!!! You’re late!!! You should’ve take care of our kiosk!” PRAKKKKK! as usual for 17 years of my life this repeats and mostly fulfill all my life time. Violence and uselessness of my life have became shadow everytime, every second no matter what I feel. “You are such a useless kid! Hurry! I have to meet up with my friends! Lazy b*tch!”, She’s my step mom. You might wonder now who am I
Adopted kid, that’s what I am. My life is a mystery yet also painful. I have been neglected and suffer from brain cancer. A year is my leftover time, is not short and is not long, isn’t it?
It was another plain day, December 19 2006, Walking through Tokyo’s road. “Hei Yuriko, do you want to get some ice cream with us today?” , Akino asked me while we walked together with some other friends. I answered,” Sorry I can’t I have to go back home now, see you guys tomorrow!!”. I walked back and I saw a guy ran so fast and suddenly pull my hand hence I was forced to run as well. “What’s happening here?! Who are you???”. He then replied, “ we have no time to discuss it right now! Please follow me”. I can smell octopus’ smell on his body, he looks like the tako seller in the market, why?? WHY?? I DON’T UNDERSTAND
He pushed me to a corner near the dumpsters (why would he pick this horrible spot?! Geez!). “So you are now my girlfriend”, he stated that. “WHAT?! I AM…” and he cut it saying, “OKAY ! FINE! FAKE GIRLFRIEND! Please, for a moment!”. “But I have to …”. “Shut up! And now please wait for me to change!” then he changed his outfit into nicer one. My heart kept on saying Should I, should I not run… Should I.. Let’s run! Just about to take one step, he pulled my hand, “DONE! LET’S GO!” Again we ran and.. Yeah we arrived somewhere which I have no idea.
“This is my dad’s office, PLEASE just nod your head if my father say that you’re my girlfriend and that you are ready to marry me”. “WHAT?!! NO WAY! I AM…”. An old guy interrupted our conversation, “HI! Yuuki so this is your girlfriend? She looks okay”. I grumbled in my heart what?! Just okay? What are you talking about? Cih! “Yea dad, of course! I told you I have one and isn’t she cute?”, he pinched my cheek and again I can just smile.
After one and a half hour of conversation, we were done with the acting and, “You have to be responsible of my job! I have been late for 2 hours you know!!!!”, I shouted in front of his face. He smiled innocently and offer his hand, “Yuuki, 19 years old, thanks for your help and have a nice day!”. He then turned back and left me. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY!!!! “Hei!!! You ruined my day !! You have to be responsible!”. I did not care, so I went back home and I bet you guessed already, the evil head waited already with the stick, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEEEEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great! I never meet him anymore, don’t ever even dare to ask me to marry you stupid ignorant guy! I went to the rooftop and just realized that I only have 10 more months left, what should I do? “Yuriko!! Come down!!”, ah you know it’s again Akino! Ignore her, “I have no time, Akino! I’m having fun!!”. “Yuriko! Headmaster, he wanted to meet you!” WHAT?! What did I do?
I ran down and go to the headmaster’s office. “Hi, Sir! What’s happening?”. “Yuriko, you know him? Your father in law in the future! He wants to meet you!”. OH MY GOSH! It’s Yuuki’s dad!! “Hi, ‘daddy’! (I smiled like forced) nice to see you!”. “Yuriko, I have a lot to talk to you! Where have you been? I haven’t met you since that time!”. “Oh yeah, ‘daddy’, I have been so busy lately”. The door then opened, “what’s u..” a guy entered. AAA! YOU!? I didn’t realize that Yuuki goes to the same school with me and he’s THERE.”So guys guys! We have to plan the marriage… NOW”.
“No, Sir! It can’t happen!”, I tried to explain it to him. “No! It has to happen next month”. AGAIN “WHAT?!”, both of us were surprised. He explained that Yuuki’s mom is going to be dead in less than a year and she wanted to see a grandchild. “Sir, I’m sorry, but can I think about it first?”, I said to him wisely and now that I’m confused. What should I do? I know that feeling that life is no longer long. I also want to raise a great child, but I won’t survive anyway.
It was February 1, 2007, “I agree sir, we can do it!” I came to Yuuki’s father and decided. Yuuki was there and he was surprised. Yes we did not love each other, but I hope doing so will satisfy his mom’s will.
“How can you do that to me, Yuriko!!”, Yuuki complained to me. I answered, “I know the feeling, Yuuki”. “Don’t feel like you know everything!! You are no one! No one to me! How can you damage my life?”, he shouted it in front of me. I fell in tears, “not only you, I damaged a lot of life stories of others: my parents, my exboyfriends, my friends and all. I am fake, and not true. I am useless”. He was surprised and said, “what’s wrong with you??”. I erased my tears and walked, “don’t have to care, none of your business!”. He suddenly then grabbed my hand again and run , “let’s have some ice cream!”.
Since then, he always went to my spot at school and we shared a lot of information to prepare for the marriage. One information I never got to share is the time left. I used to hate him, now I can feel how a deep care towards him had grown. I don’t want him to be disappointed of it.
My heart is flourishing, never been this crazy before. One day,
“my wife, we are going to try the wedding outfit today, I will wait for you in front of the school 2p.m. Love, husband wannabe”.
He put this stick note on my table, and I kept on smiling. Imagining how would he say that in front of me, it must be creepy!
2 p.m! Let’s hit it. We met in front of the school, “Hi my madame, do you want to go on a ride?”. It was a very cool motorcycle that he offered me to ride on. So there we went to a bridal store and put on our outfit. I’m so nervous, I look so different with this gown , as I done with it, the assistant opened the curtain and I saw him very nice looking with the tuxedo on. He looked amazed and did not say any, except, “you are .. you look different” But wait! I feel dizzy and I… fainted.
As I opened my eyes, I know where it is, the hospital. I saw him fell in tears, small and little tears that he intended to hide. “Hi there!”, I greeted him. “You lied to me, Yuriko! How can you miss this important piece of identity?”, he cried and asked me. It’s in a week! Our marriage is in front of our eyes, and you waited for me to fall for you. I did already! Why you just tell me this way?”. I did not realize, I also fell in tears, “Sorry, you can look for another bride if you want. I am useless as I’ve told you”. He did not respond. And suddenly he left. My heart… feels hurt.. pain..
Done, my love story again, fail. Life is a biatch. I’ve been hiding this really painful feeling: crying and writing a lot. March 1, 2007, 8a.m:
“Bride, please be ready for our wedding. Meet my assistant in 10 minutes, stay there, and meet me in the church soon. I love you! – husband (in less than 24 hours)”
Again, I saw this stick note. I was surprised, that … that.. he accepted me? In 10 minutes sharp, one woman met me and asked me to ride on a … what? Limousine??? And brought me to the bridal store. It was not that gown, prettier and more elegant one that I put on. They did make up and hairdo for me. My …. Stepparents? Were there. “wow, what are you guys doing here?”, I asked them. “Hahah! Yuriko, shut up! You are going to be a noble soon!”. I was amazed,”wait! What did you say?”. All was ready, and I went to the church. Blah blah blah all the wedding thingy.
As soon as I arrived in his house, really?! I just knew that he’s one of the leading business group in Japan! “You missed this information, Yuuki!”. He just smiled and say, “this has nothing to do with our relationship right!”
It was November 24, 2007. It’s the day the baby will come out. And I was so afraid of the death which is going to come next month. “Good luck, Yuriko!”, my husband, Yuuki supported me. It was hard! Now that I couldn’t feel like breathing. “Eaaa!!!aaa!!”, the baby came out already?? I saw it!! I saw it!! It’s a he!.. but… Why do I feel like really hard to breath and my head is dizzy?? I heard God called me, “Yuuki, thank you. Sorry for the short memories and hope you remember me”. Died. Yuriko died before got to raise the kid. It was a pleasure yet awful memory for Yuuki. I said, “Hi, Yuuki.. I’m in heaven. I can see you raising our kid. Who’s his name? Kazuya? I hope he will be a great kid. I love you, and sorry for the short uselessness, thank you.”